Comfort in Silence
by Clogette
Summary: A scene additional to Christmas 2013, after Shelagh leaves the hospital and returns to her Sisters for comfort. Shulienne.


Sister Julienne was aware of the worried soul in the room before her songbird voice joined them in singing. She felt the presence of Shelagh perhaps even before she was in the building. Sister Monica Joan's words earlier had struck a chord with her, and how she desperately missed her Sister Bernadette. Unlike Sister Monica Joan though, she did not feel that Shelagh had escaped her religious life deceptively, or naively. Above all things Shelagh was incredibly wise and sensible, just two of her many wonderful characteristics, and Sister Julienne recognised that it would have taken more courage for her to leave Nonnatus than to stay. For it is easy to stay somewhere to keep the peace, to trundle along and not question anything and to say it is your calling to keep your soul satisfied. It is easy to lie to yourself, and so much more difficult to be honest. And Sister Julienne never respected Shelagh more than she did when she signed her final papers and took tentative steps into the world outside Nonnatus House. Outside the safety of her Sisters in pursuit of what had now become her honest calling.

As Shelagh made her way to the Sisters, joining with their voices to where they had created a makeshift altar, she felt her heart begin to soar in unison with them. The last few hours had been so desperately traumatic, and her mind had been a whirl. She wished she'd have had the strength to stay at the hospital, in the corridor, waiting. The truth was she was scared she would scream. The tension and the anxiety suffocated her, and the distance she was having to keep from Timothy had killed her. She had been so relieved for Timothy's sake when Patrick had turned up, although on her own part she felt such guilt for having been forced to leave him. If she had been braver, more upfront with the nurse. If she'd been more honest with her feelings with Patrick earlier they could already have been married! And then she could have been at Timothy's side when his father could not be. If she was half the nurse that she thought she was – she would have noticed. If she was half the mother-like figure she hoped to be to Timothy – she would have noticed. But she didn't. And she felt so dreadfully guilty.

Finding her place between Sister Monica Joan, who stood peacefully and contentedly beside her, and Sister Julienne she felt the gentle presence of the Holy Spirit rest on her. She could nowhere near forget everything that was going on in her life right now, but it provided comfort and for a moment she thought that everything might be OK as the words to the familiar song came to her as if a recited mantra. _For thou art my strength._ And she so wished she could feel that strength.

It was at that moment she felt the reassuring gentle grasp of Sister Julienne's hand taking hers. She gripped it tightly as if it was the life ring she had been searching for within a ferocious storm.

Silence fell in the room, and the nuns fell into the routine prayer for the usual end of Compline. Shelagh did not join them, she continued to grip Sister Julienne's hand, and, eyes closed, let the familiar words wash over her and surround her, enveloping her in a familiar comfort that she so longed for.

The other nuns took their leave, but Sister Julienne remained carefully encouraging Shelagh to her knees to pray together.

One look between them, and one whispered word was all that was needed.

"Timothy," Sister Julienne whispered. It was not a question, but a statement. There had been murmurings in the hall – Dr Turner was so well known and it hadn't taken long for word to spread. When it had reached Sister Julienne she had paced up and down in a quiet area of the hall way, unsure where her place was in this family's eyes now. Shelagh may not yet be married, but Dr Turner and Timothy were her family, and Sister Julienne understood the weight of uncertainty and fear that lay on all their shoulders.

One nod of the head by Shelagh was enough, and the pair of them fell into prayer together.

XXXXXX

"I have set up a camp bed in the bar area," Sister Evangelina explained to Sister Julienne. The hall was quiet, with many of the occupants settling down for the night. Shelagh hovered by the doorway, looking on awkwardly whilst Sister Julienne spoke to Sister Evangelina. "I thought it might be quieter, and a bit more private."

"Thank you," Sister Julienne said. She was so gratefully that underneath it all Sister Evangelina was exceptionally kind and incredibly perceptive to what was needed. "I will sit with her and then I shall come and relieve you from overseeing everyone in here…"

"You will do no such thing," Sister Evangelina said, cutting her off. "What she needs is a good friend, and most likely, I would say, a good cry. I have set up a camp bed in there for you too, if you should feel it's needed."

"Sister, I…"

"No more thank you's, I won't have it. Now take care of her," Sister Evangelina said looking over the Shelagh. "And make sure she knows how much we love her, and how glad we are she has come to us."

Sister Julienne nodded and smiled. "I shall."

Shelagh was relieved when Sister Julienne made her way back through the hall. She could see that she was being discussed by the two nuns. Perhaps they felt she was taking advantage of them. All these people without homes and now that she had hit a difficult patch she had come crawling back to them seeking comfort and solace. After she had stayed away deliberately for so long, she wouldn't be surprised if they encouraged her to leave, to go back to Patrick who she had so obviously chosen over them all.

Sister Julienne took her by the arm and they turned into the hall way and into the bar area where Shelagh noticed two camp beds had been set up.

"Sister Evangelina thought you might like the quiet. That is, if you wish to stay?"

"I couldn't take up a bed that is so obviously needed," Shelagh responded quietly. "I can go back to Dr Turner's house, or to the hospital. Thank you for allowing me to join with you, though. And for the prayer."

Sister Julienne looked sadly at her friend. "Shelagh, if that is what you wish, then of course. But you are very welcome here. It is a spare bed that is not in use. Besides," Sister Julienne said, looking across at a table nearby. "I very much suspect that those mugs of Horlicks are for us and it would be a shame for them to go to waste – especially as Sister Evangelina has milk on a strict ration!"

Shelagh managed a smile, Sister Julienne had a look in her eyes as if participating in drinking Horlicks was possibly the naughtiest thing they could do. She picked up a mug and sat carefully on her camp bed, which was not yet made up.

"If I may," she began, wrapping her hands around the mug. "I would like to stay. I am of no use at the hospital to Patrick in my present state. Plus the matron won't let me on the ward. And I am not sure I could face going back to Dr Turner's house tonight. Not after today."

"Of course," Sister Julienne said, taking a sip of her own horlicks and sitting opposite on her own camp bed.

The pair sat in silence for a while, sipping the Horlicks and relishing in the peace and quiet. As a nun, and an ex nun, silence was never awkward. It was welcomed in a world that seemed so busy and noisy. It was enjoyable and comforting, and they both relished in it.

Sister Julienne got up and took both mugs and put them onto the table.

"You look tired," she said to Shelagh.

"I am," Shelagh agreed. "But I also am not. I don't think I shall be able to rest my mind tonight. It is not the night I thought I would have planned…" Shelagh said sadly, her voice beginning to shake under the emotion of the day and the thought of the wedding that should be going ahead tomorrow.

Sister Julienne nodded, she knew this already. Carefully taking the pillows laid out at the end of the bed she placed them where Shelagh would sleep. And gathering the blankets, the began to unroll them. Shelagh obliged and put her legs up onto the bed and under the blanket. Sister Julienne sat carefully at Shelagh's feet and leant towards her.

"_You are to stay here tonight. In the morning, I will telephone the vicar and tell him that your wedding has been postponed for several weeks and why."_


End file.
